Motivational Monday: Jesus, take the wheel

Have you ever been in a situation expecting one thing but then something happens and you are challenged for the better?

As the situation is happening you ask yourself why and how you were chosen to do whatever it is that is needed.

It's easy for us to see the negative in a situation that we didn't ask for. Think about it, if we didn't ask for this then why would it be given? Step outside of the situation for a moment and think about how you were able to accomplish what you did, what you learned as a result, the new resources you gathered. Think about how your character was challenged and how you became a better person because of it.

When you are thrown in situations you didn't ask for to fulfill the prayers you did, instead of focusing on the negative and asking "why me?" Let Jesus take the wheel and grow from the experience. We all know that He is watching but you never know who else is also watching.

Motivational Monday: Changing Lives

What have you done today to change someone's life?

I was watching Long Island Medium, pretty fascinated with how Theresa is always compelled...by spirits to provide information to complete strangers that ultimately changes their lives and their way of thinking. What have you done today to change someone's life? Now most of us are not gifted with those powers to speak to spirits, but we are gifted with ways to impact others. I had my first meeting with my lovely five interns for the Summer/ Fall season yesterday. I spoke with them about finding your passion and achieving your dreams. I could tell by talking to these ladies that we had connected and that we were all on a course to change each others' lives.

So many people believe that they are insignificant and can't really impact others and don't have the capabilities to change lives. But I'm here to tell you that you can change someone's life in such a small way that you don't even realize that you are doing so. Whether it be a kind smile, a helpful hand, or sincere advice, the way in which we impact others is a direct reflection of how others have shaped and impacted us.

"The greatest good you can do for another is not just to share your riches but to reveal to him his own."
       -Benjamin Disraeli

Motivational Monday: Kicking Closed Doors

You're sitting in your office. You have this idea or information you KNOW will change the fate of a person or your job. You go to your superior, ready to share this idea or information...but their door is closed. You're discouraged. You start to knock, but fear wraps you in a snug blanket. You start to turn around...going back to your desk, but something inside of you tells you to go back...kick that closed door. Do you listen?

Life is like that. It gives you an idea, information or a resource that could change the very situation you are in. Often times what stands between the idea and the execution is the closed door. The closed door represents the obstacles we face to make our dreams, goals, opportunities a realization. We get so caught up in the physical existence of "the door" that we often forget what could be behind it.

When fear (the door) stands in the way of your goal being realized, your dream being executed, that opportunity happening...kick it. KICK. THAT. CLOSED. DOOR. Don't let a closed door stand in your way because the one thing that stands between you, that door, and what's behind it...is your foot and the strength you put behind it.

Motivational Monday: Be a Seed Sower

Yesterday, I watched Joel Osteen. I really enjoyed his sermon about sowing your seeds through helping of others. I've heard many times that the best way to pick your spirits up is by picking up the spirits of others...by being of service to others. Now I know some of us may not have the time to devote constantly volunteering at a local shelter, church, or food bank, but think about the people who are in your daily life that you can simply make sure they are okay. Maybe you can offer them some encouraging words, send them some information guiding them in the right direction, or event give them the gift of an attentive ear.

When we lend out a helping hand to others, the universe lends us a helping hand. I like to think of it as depositing some change into our karmic accounts and receiving interest from the universal bank. How much did you deposit today? What will the interest be in the long run? Nothing is better than getting back more than what you put in.

So today as you begin your week, think about what is going on in your life. Think about the changes you hope to come. Think about whatever you are being challenged by and put that energy towards helping someone else create positive change.

"Sow your seeds in your time of need. Sometimes God won't send us the answers we need, instead he'll send us a seed that holds the answer.
'Trust in the Lord and do good.' (Psalms 37:3)"
       -Joel Osteen

Motivational Monday: Be A Snake Charmer

Last week, I had a dream that I was being followed by a snake. It wasn't just your regular garden variety snake. It was a gigantic python! I'm a huge believer that some of our dreams tell us things that we should be aware of or even predict things to come. Naturally, I woke up baffled by what the dream meant. I saw the snake, it hissed at me, I was frightened and then I woke up. I checked my dream book to see what it meant, but it didn't really offer me any comfort.

Fast forward a few days later, I was speaking to a close associate of mine about how every time they encounter this particular person, there is a constant undertone of hatred, jealousy, and negativity. It got me to thinking about some old sayings about "snakes in the grass." Matter a fact, Southern artist Big K.R.I.T. penned the line

"He said I should cut my grass because I'm surrounded by snakes. Not sure if that was metaphorical or if he had seen one today."

In my opinion, we give too much energy to the snakes. We often worry about who they are, what they're doing, when they'll strike. I think we should learn to be snake charmers. Soothe Sayers whose job is to not be frightened by the snake, not attack the snake, but to charm them

Speaking literally, if you are aware of someone being negativity towards you or "hating" on you...you're not busy enough. You are focusing too much energy on what they are doing and not enough on what you should be doing. Be a soothe sayer, treat them with kindness, don't allow their energy to destroy yours. I'm certain all of us have a snake or two in our midst. The most we can do is be aware and be busy.

"Be so busy that you don't have the time to know who your haters are. And when you know who they are...charm them. Sometimes the best revenge is to smile...and move on."

Motivation Monday: Consistency Kills

By now, we all have heard about the Trayvon Martin situation that has happened in Sanford, FL. And believe me, if it doesn't touch your heart and make you upset...then you've got issues (in my opinion). As I've been watching the news, reading the paper, and listened to the radio about all the outrage and rallies that have taken place since this story hit mainstream news it led me to think. This case is not new.

We've had situations like this since WAY before I was born. It is a situation that resembles has the potential to resemble the Civil Rights Movement. What I mean is that depending on what the people decide to do and continue to do will either be the game changer we need in this county when it comes to not only race relations but also human rights/ human error.

There have been so many recent cases, Jena 6, Sean Bell, Genarlo Wilson, and Troy Davis that had so much momentum in the beginning but as soon as people felt like the fight was lost or that there was nothing more that they could do...all the momentum and noise died. And it makes me sad. The reason why so much change happened in the 60s is because of the high amount of consistency they had to continue the fight. Regardless of if they secretly felt like there was nothing they could do...they STILL. DID. SOMETHING. They remained consistent in their fight to work together in the greater good for the people.

Now this post isn't necessarily about having consistency when it comes to fighting for human rights, but it does shed light on a major problem we have, especially in America, as humans fighting for our rights. We lack consistency...we lack consistency sooooo bad. Think about it. If we would put even half as much energy into consistently shedding light on issues that impact us all, on standing up for what we believe in, on working together for the common good, we could be so far right now.

So implore you, use this opportunity to be consistent in your stance and your believes because when all else fails, the consistency of the people will always prevail.

"It's not what we do once in a while that shapes our lives. It's what we do consistently."
       -Tony Robbins

Motivational Monday: Don't Be A Blessing Blocker

Lately, I've been seeing people who are blocking their own blessings...and I don't think they realize it. So many of us look for a clearly written sign in the skies which prevents us from seeing what's right in front of us.

How often do you see small victories as a preliminary blessing for a bigger blessing? Probably all the time. We are so accustomed to wanting things to be bigger, greater, faster, etc that when we receive something that is smaller, lesser, or slower we ignore it and put it to the wayside.

Before we can achieve big things we have to accept the small victories. Maybe you are in medical school, your big victory is to get your PhD...but your small victory is that you passed that major test or you met someone in your field who can be your mentor. Or maybe you're an entrepreneur. You want to someday own this international conglomerate but today you manage a small firm that has recently started to get more clientele.

My point is this, "Big things have small beginnings. So don't block your blessings because you expect or wish them to be bigger." The small victories add up and those blessings are a set up for the larger ones to come.

When God provides you with a blessing/ opportunity, no matter how big or small appreciate it and show him that you are ready for the bigger blessings to come.

Motivational Monday: High Standards

"Hold yourself responsible for a higher standard than anyone else expects of you. Never excuse yourself."

       -Henry Ward Beecher

Motivational Monday: Keep going through your hell to appreciate life

Why going through hell is necessary.

Have you ever been in such turmoil in your life, such strife, that it seems like God or some spiritual being is picking on you? It seems that as you are starting to see the sunlight, it quickly gets cloudy? I feel like at one point or another we will go through that chapter in our lives...some of us hardheaded people may go through it more than once. As much as we wish we weren't in it, it's necessary for us to go through these pains and pangs in our lives.

Think about it. You will appreciate something more if you have to work hard for it. Remember when you were a kid and your parents bought you a toy just because? Do you remember what happened to that toy? Maybe you left it somewhere or took it apart...some kind of way it ended up in the trash... But when you were given an allowance for completing your chores or had your own money and bought your own stuff, you truly appreciated that thing.Why? Because you had to work hard to get it!

That's how life is. We won't appreciate it unless there is struggle. Yes we appreciate HAVING life, but not all of us appreciate LIVING life until someone or something comes in to shake things up for us. Some of us have to go through the turmoil longer than others, but at the end of the day it's about the lessons you take from them. So as your life becomes laden with bad news, situations, turmoil and strife, don't think of it as God picking on you. Think of it as going through this hell is necessary for me to appreciate what I have, those I love, and living life.

"If you're going through hell...keep going."
     -Winston Churchill

How To Be Successful by Tyler Perry

Motivational Monday: Just Press Pause

Overwhelmed to the max! That's how I've been feeling lately. Between getting engaged, preparing to move, accomplishing business goals, working for clients, preparing for upcoming projects and realizing personal goals I feel like a circus juggler. Although I am used to having many things going on, it just seems like too much! I spoke to a few of my friends and associates about it and they all pretty much told me the same thing, "Just pause. Take things one at a time."

It's in our nature as humans to want to do everything all at once. We want to feel like supermen and superwomen and say that we can accomplish fifty million tasks. I am admitting that WE ARE NOT! No matter how much we want to believe we are, no matter how much we try to be, we are not! When we feel overwhelmed, we need to JUST. PRESS. PAUSE. (I might be saying this more for myself but...) JUST. PRESS. PAUSE.

"Slow down and enjoy life. It’s not only the scenery you miss by going to fast-you also miss the sense of where you are going and why."
       -Eddie Cantor

Motivational Monday: Believing in yourself

I've been hearing so many people talk, excitedly, about what they will be accomplishing this year and how they are ready to live out their dreams and realize their goals. As I listen to these people and get excited for them, I think about how successful they are going to be simply because they believed in their ability to make that dream/ goal a reality.

Have you ever been in a situation where you spoke to someone who want to do something or be someone but they always failed in execution because they didn't believe in themselves? It's like wasted potential...and it's sad. In my opinion, a large percentage of what we accomplish is rooted in the belief that we can and will do it.

So to all my dreamers out there, my goal setters, my accomplishes...believe in yourself...like I believe in you.

"It's not who you are that holds you back, it's who you think you're not."
        -Unknown

Motivational Monday: On Being Prepared

As the year comes to a close, and 2012 begins to usher itself in, I can't help but think about all the "prophecies" of 2012 and what it could have in store. I'm not sure how I feel about "impending doom" however, I have noticed that things seem to be aligning themselves in a very interesting way.

I can't help but consider the thought to get prepared for whatever the new year has in store. Whether it be increasingly disastrous weather, heightened political and social upheaval or even new opportunities, I want to be prepared for whatever life has in stored for us. I'm sure we'll see as the new year comes in, people will begin to live their lives as if tomorrow could be the last. How we SHOULD live our lives daily.

I'm sure that this time next year, we will see an increase in people's fearful behaviors for the suggested "end of days" on 12.21.12. I think instead of sitting and waiting for something to happen, you should prepare yourself and find ways to make things happen positively and to the best of your abilities...at least for you.

Regardless of your beliefs and what you think might happen...just. be. prepared. Be prepared emotionally, spiritually, physically, mentally, and psychologically for the bad AND good the new year has in store for all of us.

"Preparedness, when properly pursued, is a way of life, not a sudden, spectacular program."
       -Spencer W. Kimball

9 of 18 tricks to make new habits stick via Lifehack

If you read yesterday's Motivational Monday Post, then you know that it takes approximately 21 days to form a new habit. You also know, that I think instead of waiting until the new year comes in to start your resolutions, you should start your resolutions now so that they become habits before New Years'. I'm sure you're wondering to yourself, "Okay, I know what (good) habit I want to start, but I need some help on getting started or staying motivated."

I read this really good article from Lifehack that provides some really good tips on sticking to your new habits. Some of those tips included:

• Start simple. Don't try to completely change your life in one day...
• Get a buddy. They'll keep you accountable and motivated. PLUS, you can swap tidbits and advice with them.
• Be Imperfect. Try your best, but expect a few bumps along the way.
• Use "but" to turn negative thoughts into positive and motivating ones. Example: I just can't give up this [insert bad habit here], but I know in the end I will be the better for it.
• Remove temptation. No explanation necessary.
• Write it down. Writing makes your ideas more clear and causes you to focus on the end result.
• Stay Consistent. Consistency saves...Complacency kills.
• Spend time with role models. Spend more time with the people whose habits you want to mirror.
• MOST IMPORTANTLY: Do it for yourself.

And if you still need a good kick in the bottom, here is the complete list of 18 tricks to make new habits stick (via Lifehack)

Motivational Monday: On Forming Habits

The holidays are coming up and although we are thinking about spending time with family we haven't seen all year, we also find ourselves thinking about the new year that is literally right around the corner. With the thought of the new year and all of its surprises we have yet to experience, the one thing that is constantly on everyone's mind are their New Years' Resolutions.

Every year, we find ourselves making promises to form habits that we hope will make us better, richer, wiser, healthier. We wait until the holiday feasting is over, the presents are opened, and the fun is out before we decide to take our resolutions and try our best to transform them into our new daily habits. But my question is "WHY?" Why would you wait until January 1st to try to formulate a habit just to leave it out in the cold not even two weeks down the line? And then when the Spring and Summer come we curse ourselves for not sticking to our New Years' Resolution JUST to start the cycle all over again come the new holiday season! STOP IT!

Stop waiting until the new year rushes in to form a habit. Why not form a habit starting in December or even after Thanksgiving so that when January 1st rolls around, not only can you stick to your new New Years' Resolution but it's a habit that you can't see yourself break. It's common knowledge that it takes about 21-28 days to form a habit, but that truly depends on what habit you are forming and the type of person you are. It depends on your determination and willingness to maintain the ultimate goal or purpose that you are trying to pursue.

I know several life coaches and fitness gurus started the 30 day challenges and invited others to join in at the start of December, but like I said it takes aproximately 21 days to form a habit. So I challenge you, if you have a long list of resolutions that you hope to turn into life changing habits, START TODAY! As of this post there are approximately 20 days until the new year comes in.

"Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going."
       - Jim Ryun

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Motivational Monday: On Starting Over

Have you ever had a situation that you prepared for, expected, and hoped would happen...but unfortunately it didn't. You put so much into that one situation that when it doesn't turn out the way you wanted you literally want to just give up. Although it is tempting, DON'T GIVE UP!

Just because whatever you were doing or wanted didn't come to fruition today, doesn't mean that there isn't a good chance that it COULD actually happen later. Sometimes our blessings don't come to us now because we are not currently prepared for it. You might need to take a break...whether it be for a few hours, days or weeks, just know that all you have to do is start over and try harder.

"Courage doesn't always roar.
Sometimes courage is the quiet voice
at the end of the day saying,
"I will try again tomorrow."
       - Mary Anne Radmacher

...and succeed...

Have a Happy Monday!

Motivational Monday: On Gratitude

Thanksgiving Day is over. We spent the day thinking about all the things we were thankful for whether it be the people in our lives, the blessing and opportunities we have, or the sacrifices we made to be better. But I often wonder, "why must we show gratitude and thanks on only ONE DAY of the year?" What happened to showing gratitude and being gracious on the other 365 days of the year? As I watched my timeline fill with horror stories of Black Friday shopping and gluttonous indulgence, I wondered if those people (me included) thought about gratitude and thanks not even 24 hours after the Day of Thanks...

We should always make a conscious effort to be gracious and show gratitude daily. It can be in the simplest of thank yous or something grand, but we definitely shouldn't allow the gratitude to sit and fester until we think THAT one day is the right time to express it.

EVERY DAY IS A GREAT DAY TO EXPRESS GRATITUDE. As you begin your weeks, shopping for cyber deals, returning to work and school, or recouping...remember show gratitude.

"As each day comes to us refreshed and anew, so does my gratitude renew itself daily. The breaking of the sun over the horizon is my grateful heart dawning upon a blessed world."
       -Terri Guillemets

How I got myself out of a depressive state PT. 2

Recently, maybe a few months ago, I realized how unhappy I was. I realized that I was going through life...not living it. One day, I woke up and decided that I was tired of being unmotivated. I was tired of feeling down. I was tired of living with my head in a fog. I was tired of just EXISTING and wanted to live again. It was hard...I won't lie. You start to get comfortable just existing, it almost seems easier. I think it is easier. It's so easy to be unhappy, to blame others for your lack of whatever. Being happy truly does take work. So one day, I woke up and decided to get to work. This is the continuation of my journey.

Fourth. I challenged myself. I challenged myself to create something EVERYDAY. Everyday, it didn't matter what it was or through what medium, I had to create something. I am naturally creative...some may say artistically gifted, so when I don't create for long periods of time...my positive energy goes down. Whether I was drawing, singing, photoshopping, writing, blogging, photographing, videotaping, public speaking, cooking...it didn't matter. I HAD TO CREATE EVERYDAY.

Fifth. I got rid of the stuff that didn't make me happy. Although some stuff was harder to get rid of and it made me sadder at first...I had to do it for me. That included what I watched on television. I decreased the amount of drama I watched on the television and focused on the shows that either stimulated my mind or inspired me. I have to admit Oprah's Lifeclass was a MAJOR help for me.

Sixth. I imagined myself happy. I imagined the smile on my face, the warm feeling inspired, the sense of "in this moment, despite everything else, I AM happy." I started to do that before bed and when I woke up. Eventually, I noticed that for no reason at all, I started to smile more. I started to fall asleep with a smile of my face and waking up with a smile on my face. I noticed that I noticed things more...positive things...like the sun shining.

Seventh. I stopped existing and started to LIVE! I re-instated my membership at the gym, called my trainer, and started to (for the first time ever)enjoy jogging. I made the effort to go out alone and do things for me, but I also made the effor to call and hang with some old friends. I didn't have the funds to do EVERYTHING I wanted, but I was able to do everything I needed to get back to my joy.

I encourage everyone if they are feeling down or are even depressed, before taking to the meds, consider really thinking about what is making you unhappy then take the steps to get yourself out of that state and be happy again. I think the best quote to sum it up is as follows,

"When you discover the world around you, you'll discover the world within you."
       -Unknown

The fact that I made and make the effort everyday is why I think I got myself out of my depressive state because it's in the effort that you start to shine...not in the end result.

How I got myself out of a depressive state PT. 1

I have a confession.

Recently, maybe a few months ago, I realized how unhappy I was. I realized that I was going through life...not living it. Can you imagine? Imagine going through life not enjoying the sunshine, the happy moments, the good times. I had realized that I stopped being happy for myself and started to seek happiness in material things and in people...which is definitely how you aren't supposed to seek happiness. It got so bad that my best friend said that he started to see a total change in my attitude towards life (I'm typically very optimistic) and in my demeanor. I hadn't noticed because it was starting to become a part of me. But I woke up one day and realized that I truly was different...and not for the better. I noticed I stopped talking to people, stopped creating, and was generally unmotivated to do ANYTHING. I understand that every day won't be a great day and sometimes your motivation will take a dip...but I was going through week long stints...

One day, I woke up and decided that I was tired of being unmotivated. I was tired of feeling down. I was tired of living with my head in a fog. I was tired of just EXISTING and wanted to live again. It was hard...I won't lie. You start to get comfortable just existing, it almost seems easier. I think it is easier. It's so easy to be unhappy, to blame others for your lack of whatever. Being happy truly does take work. So one day, I woke up and decided to get to work.

First. I had to identify what was making me unhappy. What was missing or in my life that was preventing me from being my usual optimistic and joyous self.

Second. I had to share it with someone. It's one thing to admit something to yourself, but when you find the courage to admit it to someone else...then it really becomes real. Plus, they can help you identify some modifiers that you might not have thought of.

Third. I had to figure out what my life's mantra, my life's motto was. I heard some where that whatever you constantly say to yourself in your thoughts is what you are, what you are really about. I noticed that I would think to myself every day, "I want to create something. I want to be inspired to create something. I want to inspire other people, but how can I when I am not even inspiring myself?" The light bulb turned on.

[TO BE CONTINUED]

Motivational Monday: Be Inspired

By now, the entire world knows the news that legendary Hip Hop MC, Heavy D died last week. He was definitely a fore runner of hip hop in the 90s and a staple in my youth. I loved how he was such a sweet source of inspiration whether he was on stage or at home with his family.

As the news spread about his passing, for some reason, I instantly looked at what his last tweet was...yes...it is a bit morbid. I am fascinated to know what the last words are from people once they pass. In a sense, it tells me what kind of person they were when they were alive and what type of legacy they wanted to leave once they were gone.

Motivational Monday is dedicated to Heavy D. His last tweet was words of wisdom, I believe we should all live by.

"Be Inspired"...everyday.